Pebbles – The art of friendship & support

Several years ago before I had my last (and hopefully final) breakdown I was heartbroken over the death of my grandmother. I’d spent many years at her home and she had practically brought me up as much as my own mother. Not only did I grieve for the loss of her presence but I felt like I had lost my rock. While I had friends, my grandma was the one person I felt I could tell anything, the one person keeping me sane in an otherwise chaotic life.

After saying I had lost my rock someone (sadly no longer a friend) mentioned that instead of a rock I should look to have lots of pebbles instead. That way I would no longer be reliant on just the one person. Looking back I did the same thing with friendship. I had for a long time just the one main friend. My depression and lack of self confidence so low meant I found it hard to make new ones, not believing anyone would actually want to be friends with me. I know how daft that is now but at the time I mostly hung around with the friends if this one friend having no contact with them outside of Saturday night drinks.

These days I have many friends and acquaintances. While having to start your life over is quite daunting  it also gives you the opportunity to try something new and I did this with the pebble theory. I used to think everything needed to be linked and struggles to see how having different people in my life that weren’t completely connected to each other in every way. Now I have work friends, book club friends, volunteering friends, ordinary friends and so on. I see different people for different things and while maybe only one or two people know most things about me I know that I have someone to go to no matter what the worry. Like a big box of mixed chocolates there’s something for every taste!

It’s a lovely feeling and would never have happened if life hadn’t taken such a drastic turn several years ago. So good things can definitely come from bad no matter how impossible that may seem at the time


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