Eighteen months ago I found myself sat in the middle of a street, crying my eyes out & having a panic attack. These had happened for as long as I can remember whenever I got lost. I think it was part of the depression because as a teenager I would go all over to music concerts, to see penpals with only a vague idea of where I was heading with no cares in the world. Then at some point it all changed.
After reading Feel the Fear and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers (self explanatory) and F**k It by John C Parkin I’ve done a fair bit of work on myself in regards to letting go and achieving all the things I want in life.To be honest I’ve done so much work there’s not many things left to deal with but the weird fear of getting lost was a biggie. I’m not even sure what I was afraid of – thanks to google maps you’ll always find your way eventually. I think it’s more a case of not being in control.
You can’t exactly feel the fear and do it anyway with getting lost. Why would you deliberately put yourself in that position. But in a way I did. As part of my new job I have had to travel (by bus and walking, I don’t drive) to various charities and homeless shelters across the city most of which I’ve never been before. I’ve got my map print out but as I have no sense of direction the inevitable has happened and I’ve wandered off target.
The first time I got upset but determined not to panic. Instead I made a joke on Facebook. And wow bye bye fear just like that. People laughed, we made jokes back at the office and the next time it happened I just laughed and shared again. I’ve managed to get loset about 6 times over the last 2 months and you know what it’s fine. I’m The Girl Who Gets Lost (and then jokes about it) but it’s much better than being the girl who can’t-breath-for-crying-too-much.
Demons can be beat, you just need to find their weakness.