April Month of Positivity – week 3

I’m actually writing this the day after week 3 has ended which is a positive in itself after leaving it a week for the last post. Another quiet week as I wound down my commitments at work ready for a week off. Week 4 is full of events and things to do in my time off so I’m once again happy to have some downtime. 

15th – For the first time in months my work emails are all up to date, I’ve sorted out all the stats and records I need to keep and am completely organised. I come home to find an email from Open University asking if I want to take part in a pilot where I can sit my exam via computer rather hand written. It still takes place in an examination suite but less chance of hand cramping. It also means I have to finally sort out my laptop and get a new battery as I will have to download and test out the programme the exam uses. I’m just waiting to find out if my request to take part is accepted. 

16th – It’s Wednesday so it must be bookclub. I love our book club. It’s on the radio which when we started in early 2013 I would never have thought I’d be comfortable with but chatting with my friend about our choices and it’s easy to forget you’re being recorded. It’s also a massive confidence booster when you get good feedback from the shows. 

17th – An ordinary day at work followed by an ordinary evening with not much happening at home. But throughout the day the sun was shining and at one point of the day I found myself sat on the top deck of the bus at the front bathed in sunlight listening to my favourite songs on my ipod. One of those beautiful in the moment events 

18th- Friday so no work, I made notes for one of the sections of my course I’ll be using for my exam and also putting myself in front with the coursework contents. Then I finished the boxset of The Walking Dead I’ve been re-watching. Quiet, uneventful and enjoyably non stressful

19th – I loved this day for one reason. I decided to go to the small town nearby that is full of charity shops. I like to do this now and again to stock up on books. I have a list of authors who I’d love to read all of their works and it’s a good way of getting all these books but giving a little something back by buying through the charity shops. Saves me a fortune too. (I use all shops available to me for books – charity shops, high street shops, small vendors and Amazon). Today though I found a new charity shop open and went in for a look. I managed to pick up an old copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare (who I love) circa 1914 for only £3. There was no price on the book and the cashier asked if that was an ok price?? I was willing to pay up to £10 so yeah I could accept that 🙂 

20th – Easter Sunday. Slightly disappointing start to the day as I wanted to go shopping and all the shops were shut. Slightly weird to me that such a big city would be closed when I went to Stratford the same time last year and everything was open. I know Stratford is a major tourist town but Leeds wants to be the capital of the north and where everyone goes so it needs to start acting like the major city it wants to be. But this is about positives so despite the riding around trying to find some open shops I at least got to do it with my mum. The day improved when I found out that my newly created website had over 490 viewers in it’s first week. So far I have only added some book and travel reviews to the site but eventually I want to be brave enough to add some fictional work. Then as if that wasn’t fun enough I booked our tickets to see King Lear live and my tickets for a day out to Nottingham next week. 

21st – Recovering from Easter egg overeating and sitting in the garden reading a book in the sunshine. 

This coming week I am off work and have a plan of things I want to do and as it’s World Book Night I will be looking at lots of extra books. I want to tackle an anxiety issues I think I’ve had for a few years without fully realising it. I have been getting stressed whenever I have to go places along. I’m ok with work as I’ve gotten over my fear of getting lost going to new places. I’m ok travelling on my own going to the shops and other everyday places and I can go long distances when I know there is someone else at the end to meet me but I fall foul of just going to places on my own. I worked so hard to build friendships and do things with new people I’ve forgotten how to do these by myself and now I get scared at the idea of it. No palpitations and stresses, it’s like a defeatism. If I have to go somewhere alone I just give up and don’t go. So positivity week 4 and I’m going to go places and go alone. I have Nottingham booked and I’m gonna go look at some local museums and galleries and see what happens. I’m scared but at the same time looking forward to it. It’ll be another tick off the list of things to do to become fully better and feel whole again

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