It’s no wonder I’ve been so tired. As I sat waiting for my Open University exam it struck me I’ve actually been studying for the last 14 months without a break. As I’d dropped out of a module two Christmases ago I needed to make up the points to complete the degree by 2017 and allow me to keep the transitional fees. So I have had to do 3 courses and due to start dates there has been overlap rather than doing one after the other. In that time I have suffered two deaths, changed jobs, applied for a promotion(still ongoing), had a new bathroom and supported my son through his own dissertation and first ever photography exhibition. And that’s just the things I can remember.
But the biggest thing to take away from the last year and a bit is that I survived. I made it though and am waiting for the next one to start in October. When I dropped out of my module 18 months ago I was worried I’d never complete my degree, that I wouldn’t be able to cope with the stress and that the pressure would set my depression off again. It was too hard, I wasn’t clever enough. So many excuses and negative points went through my head. So I went back to basics, literally for the OU and enrolled on one of their beginning courses. I enjoyed that so much I applied for the next two to get me back on track. At certain parts when I had 2 essays due within 2 weeks some of the negativity crept back in. There has been tears and even the odd tantrum but I got through it. I’m now officially half way through with three more years to go.
But I don’t believe I’ve done this all by myself. When the stress creeps in you find out who is there for you. My family have helped and I have the most fantastic friends. I have the support network I wished I’d had many years ago.
So the remaining years of my degree should be fun. I have (hopefully) 2 years of creative writing and one studying Children’s Literature. But I know I can do it now and am looking forward to whatever the future brings.