Learning lessons about money and stress

It’s been one of those weeks where in previous years I’d have been curled up in a ball now crying  over the constant panic attacks due to money issues.

Earlier in the year I handed my out of control debts to a debt charity to set up a debt management plan for me. I’ve spent years going round in an endless circle of trying to fight my way out of debt but as an emotional shopper and having limited funds it’s been a habit I couldn’t break and eventually I gave in and asked for help.
It’s a massive weight off your shoulders to finally let someone else pick up the strain and look after you. It’s amazing how often we keep going, causing ourselves more misery because it’s so painful to ask for help.

The downside of the debt plan is I’m now always short of money for anything other than essentials. They work out you essential outgoings and then what’s left goes to clear the debts. And that’s fine – it needs to be done but even with a bit of manipulation that they do it does make it hard to have the odd treat or luxury. Or as I’ve seen over the last few weeks fund an emergency,

Two weeks ago the door fell off my fridge! There’s no way round it – in high summer your fridge needs a door. I managed to deal with that one but then this week alone I found out that one of my modules for my university diploma was declined so I have to take another course to finish. That’s £295

My son was told that he needed his passport to start a new job which it turns out he’s lost. As he doesn’t get his first wage for 4 weeks that’s another £80 for me to find. Plus the little luxury I treat myself to each year – a budget trip to a Xmas market – the money is due for it. That’s £200

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Or funnily enough not. For the first time maybe ever in my adult life I’ve found myself just getting on with life. NO panic attacks, no stress and anxiety. Just a lovely zen like ‘oh well what will be will be’.

Who is this calm person?

I think it’s linked to my re-found spirituality and the work I’ve done in Life Coaching. And the week has ended with it all working out. My son was able to use his birth certificate to prove his right to work in the UK so we don;t need to worry about passport costs until the new year or beyond. I have too many courses booked to worry about the Diploma until April so that can go in the ‘deal with it later’ pile. And that means that the £200 I have stashed for my holiday can stay for my holiday.

Even as close as the beginning of the year this past 2 weeks would have driven me insane with stress. I’ve smiled and just continues to live my life and enjoy the little things I have.

So lessons learned. Things are not always as bad as they first seem. Sometimes if you put the stress aside the answers are easier than you think 🙂

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Life decisions while getting back to nature

As the weather was so nice today I decided to get the bus to Golden Acre Park. I felt the urge to get back to nature and as someone not quite skilled in walking/rambling this is the next best thing.

I’d been reading my daily tarot card which had said that ‘everything I wished for would come to me’ and wanted to meditate on it. What better way to do that (for me at least) than by strolling through the woods.

At the beginning of the year I’d made the decisions to look into training to be a Life Coach as it’s a good follow on from the job I do now. But since being a child I’ve toyed with spirituality and what that may entail. These feelings were put on hold during the depressed years but over the last couple of years have come back stronger and are refusing to go away.

While it’s a path I am now following there is always a bit of doubt – will I be any good, what will people say and so on so it felt good to be out in the fresh air, clear the mind and see what thoughts occur.

The one thing I noticed was how I kept wanting to go off the set paths and trails. At first I wondered if I should spend more time getting back to nature. Should I return to the Lake District (any excuse to go!) or learn to hike. BUt I was constantly pulled in the directions away from the paths.

And I thought it could be a metaphor for life and work. It’s ok to take a different path. Occasionally it may look scary but for me it’s the right way to go and it confirmed to me that it’s the way for me. It doesn;t matter that it’s not the same one as every one else. In fact that makes it more appealing.

So decisions made then. I will probably look at some of the psychological therapies like Life Coaching and NLP as they still interest me but in terms of where my career is headed I’ll take the healing path.