One of my friends has recently battled alcohol addictions and while successful for a while is currently going through a hard time. It’s made me stop and think about how I cope and my own triggers.
While I’ve known and worked with people with drink and drug addictions (apart from some youthly binge drinking) it’s not been an issue for me. However I deal with my stresses by eating and spending. And I struggle to stop. I’m overweight and in debt.
I have a debt management plan. I’ve taken a budgeting course but I still can’t seem to stop spending and on absolute rubbish. But it links in to my food issues.
On Monday I had a job interview. I saw my manager afterwards who said as I had 2 and a half hours left before I was expected back at work to take myself off for a long lunch and a wander around the shops. I was expecting to buy lunch so that’s fine. I’d budgeted for that but I then spent another £1 on some cookies to go with my sandwich. So as well as money that’s a lot of extra calories because of course I ate them. But then I still had 90 minutes left so I thought I’d go somewhere else for a cup of tea. But instead of the cheap cuppa at McDonalds I went to Costa and spent £1.70 instead of £0.99. I then added a chocolate slice! To pass the time…even though I had my phone and a book to pass the time. I could have got a drink and sat in the sunshine.
So that 2 hours cost me nearly an extra £5 in cash & I daren’t add up the calories. And this situation isn’t a one off. I do it to myself all the time. I do it when I’m stressed and I suppose this situation was a de-stress after the interview. But I need to find alternative ways. But ways that don’t cost money as that’s one of the problems. Sometimes I’ve brought sandwiches to work and then gone out to buy a better one from some where else. If there’s £5 in my purse I find it difficult to ignore – I start thinking of the ways I can spend it which then often results in that something being food. It’s like a compulsion.
I’ve been good today. I’ve brought my sandwiches (& will eat them!) and will be walking the first part of my journey home. I only have enough money in my purse to pay for a drink at book club tonight. (I’ve stopped buying the books and use the library so I have managed some changes and there’s another blog posted today about saving money on TV)
If people can work to beat their drink and drugs issues however many hurdles that journey may bring I can stop spending and learn to binge eat fruit not chocolate. I’m learning to be a hypnotherapist so I am planning to record a few scripts and give myself some therapy – see what difference that makes.
But I’m starting today and that’s the key thing. I need to change, this has been my life for 25 years and I need to make some positive changes and move them forward.