The road to promotion

Next week I leave my job, take two weeks annual leave (vacation) and then on the 12th September start my new job, a promotion I didn’t think I’d ever apply for.

It’s been a rough 2.5 years preceding this. January 2014 I started a job working as a community work coach coaching people into work and supporting those who were in recovery from drugs and alcohol and homeless/housing issues. Three weeks into the job I found out, at a jobs fair no less, that my real dad was dead and had been for a couple of years. I was devastated far more than I expected as I’d been brought up by someone else. But the idea that you’ll never see someone again, never fix the rift between you, never forgive them (to their face) or talk to them again – that hit me hard. Two weeks after that news my step-uncle died and a year later one of my good friends lost her battle with cancer. That one broke my heart completely and I still miss her and talk to her most days.

In the middle of all that my son had a breakdown during university and spoke of suicidal feelings (he’s recovered now). I nearly lost my house, my debts were so unmanageable. February 2015 my boiler burst ruining my ceiling and carpets. The insurance I’d been paying for years turned out to be worthless. We had no heating or hot water for six weeks. It cost me more to fix the problems in the end than it would to have just bought a new boiler.

So depressed child, broken heart, broken boiler, mounting debts. It’s no wonder I had a breakdown of my own. I managed while off ill to get the boiler sorted, my debts sorted with Stepchange and put my child on the road to recovery. So it’s all good right???

Then I got ill!! I already suffer with sciatica, I had childhood arthritis which has been dormant for many years (only mild pain) but coming back and finally I started with sharp pains in my shoulder. Months of doctors visits and some physio and I was diagnosed with a trapped nerve, something like but not quite a frozen shoulder and RSI down my left arm! You know because why have one problem when you can have five!! Good job I have a sense of humour.

So at Easter when I moved teams to try and make life a bit easier physically I was in a very fragile state and feeling really sorry for myself. But I try and be positive and look at how I could start to turn my luck around and decided I was going to just go for it and apply for the promotion exercise when I saw it. What’s the worst that can happen? I stay with a team that were friendly and supportive and get on with the job in hand. Not really a hardship. But with some coaching and guidance I put my application in and several months later here I am – a week off a major change.

I really do feel like this is the beginning of some golden time. A new challenge, a few extra quid to pay of those debts and to be able to relax about various things. It’s been a long hard slog but finally everything seems to be on the up and while I’m still in a little shock for the first time in years I’m looking forward to what happens next xxx


What a difference no anxiety makes

I’ve recently secured a promotion in my day job. From September I’ll be a grade higher at work with a lot more pressures. My friend asked if me if I thought I could cope with the changes especially with past mental health and anxiety issues. I responded that with the mixture of meditation and mindfulness I’ve been practising over the last year I really think I’ll be ok.

And it’s kind of been proved twice this last week. Firstly a friend said she may have to cancel our holiday which would lose us our £50 deposits. Old-me would have been knee deep in paranoia in seconds wondering what I’d done wrong, panicking that because as I’m in debt what I could have done with that £50. I’d sulk for days and just be completely miserable. New-me had a 5 minute sulk, accepted the money could be lost then started thinking about how I could just book myself a last minute National Holidays trip as I’ll still have the time off work.

Then this morning I woke up to find the washer had stopped mid cycle and the washing had spent the night lying in a tub full of water and stunk awful. Old-me would have completely flipped, panic attacks, crying over the thought of buying a new washer. I’m in debt where will the money come from. My life is over….

New-me had another little sulk mostly over the thought of hand wringing all my clothes. Then I took a step back from the situation, realised there was no flood or seeming burst pipes. No kitchen-turned-swimming pool. It could well be a blown fuse. And if it isn’t then I have the money that is set aside for my holiday plus I’ve been meaning to sell the chest freezer for months so if I sort myself out & get it on gumtree and sell it I have most of the cost of a new washer within the week.

Yes I’d lose my holiday but I still have the time off work and as I’m getting a pay rise with the promotion would be able to afford a last minute National Holidays trip as well!! It was the fuse, by the way and 70p later it was all fixed and working good as new 🙂

So two things that would once have sent me spiralling dealt with and moved on with quite quickly. Even I’m surprised how well I handled it. Currently feeling very pleased with myself and looking forward to coping as well with things going forward 🙂