Seven years and 13 days ago I had the second (of 3) breakdowns. This, the middle one, was by far the worst and the one that could’ve ended my life but in the end was my saviour. How strange that something so bleak and horrendous could be the best thing to ever happen to me.
30th September 2010: the date has been seared on my bran ever since and every year I’ve felt down in the lead up to it, the events have played on my mind and for a few weeks afterwards I’ve not been the most cheerful of people.
2017 though…. 2017 had been markedly different. I actually forgot about it! No constant thoughts, no dwelling on all that happened that day and has happened since. In fact until World Mental Health day on 10th October I wasn’t paying much attention to the past at all.
And well, isn’t that something to celebrate???
It’s not perfect. After a couple of comments about being quiet I guess I’m not completely over the anniversary even if it’s my subconscious that’s still needing work rather than anything else.
Looking back on the last few weeks I have been quieter. I’ve not been that well either which could have played a part in that too. I’ve also been consumed with shouting at student finance England for nearly ruining my attempts at re-starting my OU degree (all fine again now). I’ve not really been keeping in touch with people. So there’s still a way to go but I’m feeling quite pleased with myself today
I’ve got so many exciting things coming up in the next 12 months. I’ve got some challenges to work on (and because I love them so much I’ve got action plans to work on those challenges) and I’m looking forward to the future so much.
Here’s to forgetting about breakdowns even more next year 🙂