So over the last month I’ve made several posts about health and well being, what others expect of us and what we expect ourselves (myself) and I’ve been wondering why I don’t always act upon what I say. Depression and anxiety shatter your self esteem and confidence. And despite being several years removed from it now those feelings haven’t gone. I have become invisible and I feel trapped by this. As much as I want to free myself from it and step into my own the idea of being noticed is terrifying. It’s an on-going saga. I want to be happy, healthy and sociable but then if I hide behind weight and be a wall flower people won’t notice and then nothing can go wrong again. Aaargh.
I said before 2018 is the year of changes. I’m going to have to do the whole Fear the fear and do it anyway no matter how terrifying. I need to get people behind me that will support me when I give in. And I’ll probably try to give in lots of times. It’s in my nature.
I want to move forward at work which requires me to step out of the shadows. I’ve made great strides with this over the last 12 months but I need to do more.
I need to look at why I really gave up my business, step into my power as a therapist and not hide away embarrassed at doing something a little unconventional. I’m good at it, I need to stop being small and shrugging off my skills
I want to sort my relationships out (want…not need or should) and I can’t do that as a wall flower. If I can’t put myself forward who will notice me? Even if it’s simply being more chatty in online groups. It’s a start and you have to start somewhere.
So time to step out of the shadows and I’m utterly terrified but if you don’t try how will you ever know what wonders are around the corner.