365 Day Blog challenge Day 65 – Feeling the Fear (1) #365daychallenge

I’ve been thinking about the 2018 plan to be visible and how we use clothes towards this purpose.

I have two ‘uniforms’. The first is my non-work outfit. This usually comprises jeans, trainers, tee shirts and a hoodie. It’s designed to blend in and not stand out. I wear the same thing whether shopping, sitting in the house or meeting friends for a coffee. I never think to add a dash of mascara or some glittery shoes to go out in (and I have plenty of both). This is then one of the next ‘visibility’ areas to work on.

My other uniform is for work. Four pairs of black trousers and some white/cream tops. That could look either good or bad. Look at Anna Wintour; she makes those colours work for her. I used to be a goth in my teens and with an extra layer of glitter and accessories all black looked quite nice.

But I know I’ve fallen into the trap of black and white dullness. And this is before we get onto style of clothes. About 2 months ago I started making some small changes. I bought some different coloured blouses or some tops with patterns on. And I’ve coped with that quite well.

I get really anxious when making a change so this is where the Feel the Fear and do it Anyway is being used. I get a little worried that if I move from my dark wardrobe then people will stare, will laugh or will talk about me in a negative way. There is a part of me that knows this is purely down to the anxiety and depression which is why I’m taking steps as well as wanting to get out of the rut.

Today I have even worn a different coloured pair of trousers! They’re dark grey so I’m not branching out too widely but you have to start somewhere. If I ever want to wear that little red or white dress with confidence I need to make the baby steps beforehand and build myself up.

So 2018 me is going to re-discover my sartorial self. Starting with colour and then adding in a change of design and fashion. I did it before I started with depression and anxiety so I can do it again. Lots of mindfulness and deep breathes and lets see how this next stage of being visible goes

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