Meltdowns and gyms

It’s been a rough week. It started on Monday when, after a trip for a medical check up, I had the mother of all anxiety attacks and couldn’t then go back to work for the rest of the week. I’ve been so busy concentrating on anxiety I’d not spotted the signs that my depression was on an upswing and this week has just been the culmination of everything.

Having had a week to thing the warning signs have been there since the beginning of the year but if you read the daily blogs I was doing I’ve been so caught up in trying to work on dietary and physical needs I think I’ve not paid enough attention to the mental ones. It’s just so easy to fall back into some patterns.

I’m an action orientated gal though and once I spot a problem I’m good at working out what to do to fix it. The civil service gets a bad rap for many things (and often rightly so) but they do have an excellent benefits package which includes a consultation with an Occupational Therapist and 6 free counselling sessions.

I’ve had a meeting with an occupational therapist who gave me the green light to work  and am just waiting for the start date for the counselling. I also have a 4 point plan that looks after the physical, dietary and mental sides of life.

One of those is exercise. This is a funny one. I was good at it at school (although admittedly lazy) and as an adult I’ve done plenty of zumba, aerobics and aqua aerobics lessons. The aqua one is great for building up biceps – I had some cracking looking arms with that one. But with all things when the depression kicks in it’s easy to stop doing it.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently and this scare has given me the kick up the arse to sort something out. So today was my gym induction. This is a newer one for me as I’ve always done classes before. The interesting thing for me was remembering I’m actually quite strong. Way back when I was young my dad wanted me to learn judo with him and my brother as did his tutors because I am a lot tougher and stronger than I look. However I was a young tween and more interested in music and boys so that didn’t happen.

A couple of years ago I tried boxercise and that’s another thing that’s been rattling around my head for the past few weeks so once the gym side is up and running I think I might look into going back to that. I’ve got strength; I should work out how to use it to my advantage.

I was so fired up after the induction I walked the 2 miles home. For some reason I changed out of my leggings into jeans before doing it so obviously my brain isn’t still quite working properly but hey ho.

So the week started horrendously but I’ve ended it with a 4 point plan to get better and the desire to do what it asks of me. Lets hope for a better week next week.


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