365 Day Blog challenge Day 177 Change of Plans #365daychallenge

I go back to work tomorrow after 6 sunshine filled days. I was meant to be having a long weekend in Ibiza, Spain after winning a competition but sadly it didn’t work out. I’ve posted numerous blogs on the state of my finances and despite hotel and most food paid for I couldn’t pay for the rest. Plus my passport is about to run out so I would have had to find the £85-ish to renew that first as well.

This is where I get fed up and my mood swings drop. I made the mess thanks to my mental health and I accept that and am taking steps to fix it. I’ve just under another 2 years left before I can be debt free. Most of the time I get by but sometimes I just want to be like everybody else and be spontaneous with trips.

My recently retired boss is on her 2nd holiday this year. Everyone around me is talking holidays even if it’s a week in this country. I’m desperately hoping that we get a bonus this year so I can look at the £99 2 day trips so I can have something. I know the next 2 years will fly by and I’ll be able to make up for everything I feel I miss out on now and I try not to have regrets as what’s done is done.

However lets be positive as that is what this blog page is all about. I could have spent the 6 days feeling sorry for myself and despite what the above paragraphs might say I haven’t done that. Instead I spent the time smashing my to-do list.

I painted the cupboard after saying I would for the last 18 months. I cleaned out the shed, I gave the garden two cuts and it’s now ready to be dug up so I can start looking towards the plans I have when the debts are paid. And I’ve finished and sent in my assignment 12 days early! Today I’ve done very little. I think I deserve at least one day just chilling and reading (although I did take advantage of the library 10p book sale – even my budget can’t argue with that amount)

Tomorrow is back to work although only for 2 days then it’s my weekend again.


365 Day Blog challenge Day 171 Time Off #365daychallenge

This week we had a bank holiday followed by two days of working. I’m now off for another 5 days, will work 2 more then off for 3 days! The week of the 21st will be the only week I work a full week this month. I love May!

I was meant to be in Ibiza, Spain this weekend after winning a competition but with money being so tight this year I couldn’t afford to put the money away. We’re waiting at work to see if we get any bonuses paid this year (it’s complicated. We took a pay deal after a 5 year freeze and so the bonus is up for a re-negotiation every year until 2020). If we get a bonus I’ll be able to book a long weekend away somewhere.

If not I really need to try and re-start my day trips away even if I don;t spend any money except on lunch. I need to work something into my budget. I’m a bit fed up of only seeing work and my house at the minute.

I’ve got these 5 days off them with no real plans. I do have to finish my end of module assignment for Open University. It’s done except for the referencing so it won;t take long. And I’d promised myself I would finally after 18 months paint the downstairs cupboard (glamourous life eh??) but I need to think about the rest of my time. Whatever I decide will be cheap and cheerful but I do want to go somewhere. I need to get my thinking cap on and see where I can go.

365 Day Blog challenge Day 156 Financial Challenge #365daychallenge

I’ve been looking at finances this week. I’ve beaten one struggle in that I never believed in myself enough to lose weight and had been hiding my true self behind flab. My last giant issue is money. You guys know I have a debt repayment plan if you’ve read previous blogs. I’ve talked about how that wrecks your self esteem and causes anxiety in itself as you struggle to try and have even the smallest of lives while you clear the debts. And they should be cleared I have no problem with that.

I have a limited budget each month after the debt repayment has gone out and my bills have been paid. That budget is to last me all month and covers treats, hair cuts, dentists, emergency cat bills (thankfully none for a year) and essentials such as bread and milk etc when we run out.

I can never make it last to the end of the month. There’s always some kind of juggling around in the last week and this month is no different. I’ve discovered my willpower and strength with the diet and health so now I need to find it with money. I’ve tried the envelope scheme where you divide the cash into weeks and can only spend that amount per week. I’ve tried leaving the lot in a tub and taking only what I need or think I need. Neither have worked so far, not because they don’t work in general. I know plenty of people who have trued it and succeeded but because I can’t stop my chronic overspending. However! I said the same about chocolate and fizzy drinks and still haven’t had any this year so it is do-able. I just need to break some habits.

I did a bit of research and one of the things I found was to go through your bank statement and see just where your money goes. Then look at how to change these habits. I have still to do this but off the top of my head I can think of 4 issues straight away:

  1. Books: As my budget is tight and I can’t have many treats or nights out books have become the way to spoil myself. I use the library (good), I have my free books to review on netgalley (good) and I decided that I wouldn’t buy new books but get them from charity shops thereby also giving something back to those less fortunate too. Except I’m always in them! I possibly spend between £10-20 per month doing this under the guise of collecting the works from authors I like. It never works like that because you see other things. Now I have, thanks to free or 99p books on Amazon about 1000 books on kindle, I have a good 50 paperbacks that need reading and as I got over excited by the downloads on netgalley about 300 to get through there too. I really don’t need any more books!! I’ve decided then I can have the books of one author only from the charity shops and seeing as her books are not there very often that limits that. I will also set a maximum of £6 (up to £2 per book) for the month. Once that’s gone I have to wait.
  2. Takeaways: We are terrible in our family for takeaways. Some days I am tired and just want comfort food. I’m probably spending £20-25 minimum on this. I don’t think I’m spending once a week (that would be about £40-45 per month) but my bank statement will give me a better picture on that. So when I do the monthly shop I need to stock up on easy foods. Maybe some frozen pizzas and things I can throw in the oven. Then when I want a takeaway I can swap for one of these. Not the greatest food options when you do that but probably still less calories than a pizza or curry
  3. Eating out: This isn’t even eating in fancy restaurants. It’s McDonalds after work when on a late shift and waiting for the bus. It’s having an hour to kill before book club and going to Subway. It’s agreeing to have the pub meal when it turns out all but the organiser said no because you think somebody should do it (last week). And probably more. It’s also having that cake/slice because you ‘deserve it’. What for? Deserving a piece of cake because you’ve gone into town to pick up some train tickets (also like last week) and equally silly reasons. When I started dieting at the beginning of the year the sugary treat was limited to Tuesdays before work (pain au chocolat) as a breakfast and one on a weekend. That seems to have become an anytime treat so back to my limits again in May. I also need to think about whether I really need that meal or whether a hot drink is enough until I get home and my guess is it probably will be. That’s easily another £20+ of my money
  4. Coffee shops: The cake/slice is mentioned above. This one I will keep in some respects but not others. I started having a tea before work when my anxiety was high and I still do it. I find it a really good self care practise as I get to the city centre, I sit with a tea and my book for 20-30 minutes (dependent on the traffic getting there) and then I waltz into work without any negative feelings. What I have done, apart from my Tuesday late, is switch from an expensive coffee shop chain to using McDonalds. The tea tastes the same but is half the price and with the coffee bean stickers every 7th cup is free. That’s the bit I will be keeping. My Fri-Sun routine is where I need to change things up as I seem to be creeping in the chain stores and cake and have no real reason for doing so. This point actually ties in with learning to better manage my free time and do more. This is not a priority. I can read at home and make my own drink. When the weather is nice I can do it in the garden. That saves me £6-12 per week if I did this every day

So without really getting into it (my weekend job) I can see how I can save a minimum of £83 per month. Writing it down is harsh but just with a surface look I can see why I don’t ever have any money.

Going forward then these are all habits and as I’ve proven to myself with diet, habits can be broken. This is my big challenge for May and June. If I can manage that then I can hopefully get to the end of the month without struggle, I can then  start to see what is genuinely left at the end of the month and fingers crossed start saving some of this money for clearing my debts earlier or having a genuine treat like a night out or a trip away.

365 Day Blog challenge Day 148 No Spend Days #365daychallenge

I’ve read a few times about no spending days. I’ve been trying to remember if I’ve attempted this before but in all honesty I think I’ve managed to find an excuse every time.
So I’m having a go today. I’ve attached a couple of really interesting articles below for anyone that wishes to try this. There’s on one invisible spending. That’s where you spend money without thinking. For example; dropping something off at the charity shop then buying a book you probably don’t need (me!) or treating yourself to a magazine for the train ride to go with the coffee and chocolate. Do we really need all that?

I read (and attached) a story of a woman that did this for a whole year. I’m a bit daunted by a day!
I used to be terrible in my sugary eating days. When I used to commute I’d often have to wait half an hour for the connecting train. Ample time for a drink and a chocolate bar. Then up until the end of last year I’d had a good or bad day/ it was raining/ the sun was shining/any excuse as I passed the supermarket on the way to the bus stop to go in and buy some treats. On Saturday I went to the supermarket for milk and spent £6. That’s an extra £5.5 wasted on junk I didn’t need.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m an over spender so this seems like a really good way to rein that in. I went for my morning drink after the doctors today but I had a voucher for the coffee shop so it didn’t cost me anything. I managed to not buy some pastries to go with it. I’ve a locker full of fruit tea at work so I opted not to spend money on buying milk for other teas. I’ve brought my dinner and as long as I avoid the canteen at work I shouldn’t spend any money until the journey back home.
My bus pass is on my phone so no ticket to buy and if the weather is ok I have plans to walk home anyway. I have juice and a spare water bottle at work so I don’t need to buy a drink to walk with. And then I’ll be home and got through a whole day without spending any money.

I think I’m a bit reluctant to give up my morning drink. It’s one of my calming techniques for my anxiety and as I drink tea rather than coffee it usually costs me £1 rather than £2-3 but there are lots of other ways I can probably not spend if I think about it. I do waste an awful lot of money on food and treats that I don’t need so there is definitely work to do there. I think as well it doesn’t have to be a no-spend day going forward but just mindful spending. Do I really need that? Are there other ways of getting out and about that are free?




365 Day Blog challenge Day 131 Show me the Money #365daychallenge

I almost forgot to write today. I’ve been a bit distracted by having the day off work. I’ve had a really positive financial two days. Yesterday I received a letter telling me one of my smaller debts has finally been cleared. I now only have 3 left as part of my debt plan. They’re the largest of everything I originally had but I have exactly 24 months left before it’s all over (less if I can increase the payments at any time). It’s a great feeling though knowing that things are ending

Then today I looked at changing my mortgage rate as the current one is coming to an end. If I take a 2 year deal it will end a couple of months after the debt plan does. Looking at the proposed payments I save £56 per month. What’s not to like?? So that starts at the end of April. The savings will make a big difference to the money I have for the month. I can start to look at a few treats.

I’m coming to the end of the first third of the year of trying to change my life. I’ll comment on my weight tomorrow but I’m talking to more people. I’m practising talking to strangers and raising my profile at work. My money is looking the healthiest it has been in a long while. I think the positivity breeds more good news and good luck. I’m grateful for everything that has happened and I feel like life is moving forward in the way I want it to.

Looking forward to see where I’ll be at the end of the next 3 months.

365 Day Blog challenge Day 119 Anxiety #365daychallenge

My anxiety was quite high earlier today and it’s all down to that constant issue; money… or lack of.

It’s been snowing yet again and I decided that seeing as I’ve had far too much sugar over the weekend I’d brave the cold and walk to the nearby shopping mall for some bread. Walking, though on my own always gives me time to think and the money demon reared it’s ugly head. I haven’t budgeted very well this month and am struggling. I’ve been trying to work and I can’t quite figure it out.

I’ve 2 meals this week both of which I feel obliged to go to. One is a work meeting with a lunch and the other is to see a bunch of friends for the first time since before Christmas. I should be looking forward to them but yet again the old anxieties are back.

I’ve the money put aside for both so I suppose I’ve budgeted in some way but I feel like I don’t deserve to go. I know it’s purely down to having a debt plan. I’ve said in blogs before that sometimes I feel the repayment plan is worse than having out of control debts. Paying the bills back (which is right and I should be doing) leaves very little each month left for anything and it makes life bleak.

I’ve two years of this left and I can’t wait.

365 Day Blog challenge Day 75 – Development Course #365daychallenge

This week I started my year long development course. Two days away from work with a bunch of other female civil servants to look at what I want from my career and start taking the steps to achieve that. It was an incredible couple of days with unexpected results.

Within the civil service there are lots of people around the age of 50 sitting and waiting until 55 so they can take early retirement and go do the things they want to do. I’ve got 22 years (at the current retirement ages) left to work and I don’t want to do it in a job that doesn’t inspire me. I don’t want to sit it out until a leaving package comes up.

We started the day with a visualisation where we looked at where we wanted to be in 2, 5, 7 years time. Basically in the future. My answer wasn’t the civil service. It was teaching or tutoring. Sounds like something out of the blue? But it’s not.

I had a long walk today and had a good think about this. I started my degree in 2010. After completing the first year I looked at the idea of teaching. I did tons of research then when I had my breakdown and had to take  a break from studying my self sabotaging ways managed to convince myself that a degree wasn’t for me, I didn’t need it anyway and I should probably just stick to what I’m doing.

Thinking today the idea of teaching goes back even further. I’ve been in the civil service 10 years and even way back at the beginning I was looking at training providers and whether I could be a tutor there.

Going even further back I gained a qualification to teach foreign language students English

Even further back to when my son started school and I went back to work (20 years this year) I wanted to make a move to the Learning & Development teams of every ob until I got to the civil service

That’s twenty years where I’ve let the devil on my shoulder talk me out of what I’d love to do.

On this course there are other women who have the same devil, there are some that don’t and just need some support as they push up the ranks of promotion. We will meet every 3 months for 2 days with the last session on Jan 2019.

In 2020 as I’ve mentioned a few times my debt replacement plan finishes and I graduate. I can make so many decisions then. Until then I’ve so much more research to do.

I need to decide when my debt plan is clear whether

  1. I leave the civil service and do a full time teaching qualification (1 year)
  2. I leave the civil service and do a part time teaching qual whilst working somewhere else (2 years).
  3. Stick with the civil service while I do the part time degree
  4. Do a tutor course which will limit my options possibly (I need to check this. Not something I want to commit to right now but I’m loving the positive vibes I took from the course and can’t wait to see where this next 12 months and beyond takes me.