365 Day Blog challenge Day 95 – Self Care #365daychallenge

From the end of January to the end of March I’ve got the anniversary of 5 deaths. It’s also the 3 year anniversary of my (hopefully last ever) breakdown and the near loss of my house. Two years ago I struggled with pain and had to give up a job I loved. I tend to struggle with mood a lot over this period of time.  Last year I was a bit blindsided by this as the previous 2 years before I had pain and anxiety/depression covering up other issues. This year I’m more prepared but still struggling with mood swings. My best friend is also ill and after a diagnosis of epilepsy I’m learning myself about the illness and how I can help. So it’s more important than ever to make sure I practise my self care.
Previously this has been through over eating – sweets, cake, biscuits, cookies, pizza and probably more things I’ve forgotten. Not really good care. I’m very conscious of not eating those things now. I also used to medicate with luxurious baths but after my water bill doubled I’m having to re-think that too.
So how can I care for myself now?
My go to is generally books. I love to read and I find that I can lose myself in a story no matter what the external trauma. It’s saved me many times. I try to go read sometimes in a coffee shop. I’ve found a couple who’s background music I find soothing rather than jarring and that also helps with relaxation.
Or, weather dependent, I’ll go for a walk. Last week I went to the museum.
I know some people go to the gym or run but those things don’t appeal to me.
My friend has been doing a 31 days of self care challenge, answering  question each day. I think I might try it as I’m struggling to think of other things I do to relax and feel good about myself. It will be especially interesting to do over my ‘bleak’ period.
I nearly just gave a list of hobbies but really are they self care or just things you enjoy? I think this one may be more work than I initially thought but something I should think about more as that’s what 2018 is meant to be all about and while it’s good to have more focus on my weight and food, not to mention my personal life I still need to make sure that I take care of what’s inside just as much
What do you do towards your own self care?

365 Day Blog challenge Day 91 – Positives #365daychallenge

I’ve mentioned what an up and down week it’s been but we end it with two positives that make me see the big picture and a reason for continuing my journey.

I was craving carbs and sugary treats so badly last week. I gave in and had a pizza on the Wednesday and has some biscuits on Thursday. Yesterday I got up off my but and got in around 11,000 steps. Standing on the scales this morning and I’ve actually lost 1lb taking my total to 1 stone 1lb (15lbs). This is significant as every time I’ve done an official diet I’ve lost between 10-12 lbs on average then given up and either put the weight on or gained it back plus more. The none diet has brought about better results!

So what to take away from this? I can have the occasional treat when I feel like I need it. I do’t have to beat myself up about it or feel guilty as it may actually be doing me some good. It’s all in the moderation. I’m back on the plan that is working and getting my sugars naturally from fruit.

The second positive outcome is my skin. Up until recently I had terrible panda eyes. The skin around my eyes is quite thin and dark. Looking online for explanations and solutions I was told it’s my age and the only way to combat this is with tubs of expensive creams. I can’t afford that.

However the 44 days without caffeine, carbonated drinks seems to have done the same job! My eyes still aren’t perfect and the fact that skin thins as we age is probably true but there’s a definite lightening and I no longer look like I’m surviving on 2 hours sleep per night. And not once did I need to buy an expensive jar of chemicals.

I do wonder now though how far down the google search the information on how diet can affect your skin has been pushed by big pharma companies that just want to make money? Maybe one day I’ll do a bit of research on that but for now I’m happy that I’m noticing more than baggy clothes 🙂


365 Day Blog challenge Day 82 – Back in Business….Or Not.. #365daychallenge

Today is the first day in a week I can breathe. I feel so much better than even last night. So much so when I got up I wanted to go straight out and start doing stuff again…pushing myself to get those 10,000 steps back in and so on.

Now it’s 11am and I’m still in my PJs. Because how many times do we get almost better and feel like we have to be straight back into the rat race, straight back to work, motherhood and whatever is your life? Whether it’s a cold virus, a broken bone or your mental health? There’s so much pressure in this world to be doing.

Last night we went to see Ruby Wax talk about her new book. It ended at 8.20pm and I was exhausted. So why this morning should I be running around just because my head has cleared about 80%. Wouldn’t it be better to relax a bit more and get to 100%?

I’m probably going to lose the fight to get some cleaning done. But that I can do without expending too much energy and then reward myself with some rest. Tomorrow I can go rushing around all over the place.


365 Day Blog challenge Day 81 – Nearly There #365daychallenge

I made the right decision to take today off work. After working 3 days with the cold bug from hell (I’m such a drama queen 🙂 ) I wanted an extra day to my weekend where I can sit in my PJs, watch the Biggest Loser and then take my time getting ready to go see Ruby Wax tonight.

I stood on the scales this morning and I’ve gained 2lbs. I’m both disappointed (because I don’t want to gain weight) but at the same time I’ll take it and work with it because even in the middle of my pity party I have still not had any chocolate/cake/biscuits since the 1st January (39 days) and no carbonated drinks since 4th Jan (35 days).

I have fallen back on bad habit number 3 which is is excess carbs. I had a pizza, pasta and too much bread. (Plus not as much walking) so now I can see where the dangers are and it’ll be a  weekend of protein to pull it back.

I’m not surprised really though. I’ve done the old Slimming World years ago with red (meat) and green (veggie) days where I usually had green days and lots of carbs. I could lose weight but at about half a pound a week. On the occasions I went with the meat/red diet I lost 2 or 3lbs a week. Only problem is I don’t really like meat. So time to go get me some meat substitute products and lots of veg.

I can see now what the next challenge needs to be. Get back on my feet and move about. And reduce the carbs so that pasta is a treat not a daily occurrence.  2018 is the year of kicking the habits and I’ve killed the biggest ones and not revived them at a low point (go me woo hoo!) so I can do this too 🙂

365 Day Blog challenge Day 80 – Illness #365daychallenge

The sinus pain and cold is still lingering. I don’t know why but I rarely get sick but when I get a cold I get a COLD! I get sneezing attacks that can go on for over 5 minutes, I get chest and sinus infections and sometimes I’m so exhausted I can barely stand.

I went down to London yesterday with all of the above and I have no idea about the day. I somehow did a 2.5 hour train journey down, sat in an all day meeting and did the journey back home again. Luckily I made some notes because this morning I couldn’t remember anything about the previous day.

I don’t know what it is about my sinus issues. I was told by my mum that I had polyps and that the doctor said they couldn’t be removed as they would grow back. Sadly I don’t know how true this is as she’s told lies before. I should find out for definite but for only a couple of times a year (sometimes not that) I put up with it.

But it’s no wonder I have trust issues. I once had to go through heart tests because I was told my mum said she had a heart murmur and the docs couldn’t find my heartbeat. Turns out there’s no heart murmur, I was strapped to monitors for no reason and I just have a  very slow (but healthy) heart rate. When challenged I was told that I must have made the whole thing up.

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t have more imaginary illnesses. I’ve heard so many tall tales in my life I’m surprised I’m not a hypochondriac. So I’m going to continue to rest up over the weekend and get rid of these germs and the next time I need a doctor I’ll go find out about what’s actually going on with my nose.

365 Day Blog challenge Day 74 – February’s goals #365daychallenge

It’s the first of Feb and so time to add some new things to the plan to love myself, get healthy and be more visible. This is the second day of my development course (it lasts all year and the sessions are every 3 months) so I’ll unpack that tomorrow.

 The things I’ve come up with for February are:

·       I started 5 days ago using the lotions and potions I found in the cupboard when decluttering. I have been adding my eye and face creams as well as body lotion. I started doing this last year and had some good results especially with my eyes but as with all things, the first sign of success and I quit to go back to my invisibility. So must push on throughout the month with this

·       As I spend a lot of time walking and even more so in my last job, I need a good pedicure. Sounds horrible – I hate talking about feet and once had to suffer my mother go into pedicures in great detail. But it’s just a simple kindness to your body. Another way of saying to yourself that you love yourself. As does the creams.

·       I will continue trying to exercise as well as my walking

Everything else will continue as it has been in January and I’ll build in anything that I think of as I go along as I did last month.

I’m not saying, by the way, that if you don’t lather yourself in creams you don’t love yourself but I think for me, it’s just a small way of improving the way I feel about my body & having self care. Especially as I get older. I’m trying lots of new things and some will work and help me in my journey and some I will end up dismissing as good for some but not for me. By the end of the year (or even these 365 days of blogging which will be in November) I want to have made a complete turnaround in my life both personally and professionally. These things will either help or not and I’ll take the decisions individually. I’m looking forward to the finished results.

365 Day Blog challenge Day 73 – January in Review #365daychallenge

Days without chocolate/sugary treats 31

Days without fizzy drinks 27

Bread reduction by about half

Crisps are starting to taste like cardboard

Days attempting exercise that isn’t walking 1 (I started 3 days ago then worked away from home -this is part of February’s plan)

Footsteps logged 222110

Total weight lost 8lbs (plus 6 from last year = 13lbs total)