It’s February; Valentines month so there may be a few romance based blog posts this month. I’ve just finished a book called Single Girl Problems and I’ll link to the book blog at the end.
There’s part of it though that resonates with me and that is that the general public think a woman, especially an older one if she is single then she must be unhappy or searching for a husband.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been single for a while and I know why and am working on it but I don’t have the desperate desire to get married (tried it, didn’t like it) or have more babies (my son is grown up. I’m not the maternal type and my biological clock isn’t really bothered) and I actually love my life. In societies eyes I am so weird….
I meet a bunch of friends every month and there’s 8 of us. Out of the 8, 4 are married, 1 in a long term relationship and 3 singles. Guaranteed every time we meet someone will ask me are there any men on the horizon. Good job I’m straight really because it never occurs to them to ask if there’s a woman on the horizon. Just simply- have you found a man yet. Are you looking?
I have a successful job, I have a mortgage (lets ignore my financial issues) and I have a lot of freedom in my life. When I question back about not needing to be in a relationship they say they just want me to be happy…..
Because without that husband how can I not be anything else but unhappy?
It drives me bonkers. And it just doesn’t resonate with them (and there are others) that there could be any other way. We’re in the 21st century but there’s a lot of people still stuck in the 19th.
I have no idea how to get them to listen short of tattoo it on my forehead. I was once told (not by these friends) that as I’d been single for a while I may as well concentrate o my career because I had nothing else going for me. That was a family member! It’s no wonder I don’t confide in people.
I think I’ll just continue to carry on as I am. I’ll work on my issues and I’ll search for a partner in the way I want and a way that makes me comfortable. I’ll start a relationship because I want to and not because of peer pressure. And I’ll just block the others out. They have blinkers on and no matter the discussions I have I can’t change their minds.
I do have people I can confide in and I’ll talk my issues over with them. Thank heavens for at least one open minded friend 🙂
Single Girl Problems book review: