What a Girl Wants

I haven’t written anything in a few weeks – not a blog, piece of fiction or even a bad poem. Some of it is simply because I’ve been out and about enjoying the sun, spending time with family and friends and also working on my family tree. My new OU course has started as well.

But I’ve also spent a fair bit of time brooding on this “flat heart” business (see blog Talking about a Revolution) and how I can start letting more people in. I find that if I have an issue (even one I’m not fully aware of at the time) that I end up dreaming about it. They are never straightforward dreams or ones that make any sense. One of the latest ones involved me training for the Olympics along with my sister and daughter. Well I don’t have a sister or a daughter and it’s fair to say I don’t do exercise very well either!

Apparently to dream of a daughter or sister when you don’t have one in real life means you have to start “acknowledging your femininity”!!!

Eh????

This has sent me off on a bit of a thought process. What exactly makes a woman feminine?? I’m not a tomboy – I wear dresses, make up, paint my nails. I even own things in pink. My outside definitely says I am a girl. So if it’s not physical, can it be a psychological issue?

So how do you acknowledge your femininity internally? I’ve asked a few other women and all but one define it as physical things – the clothes and accessories. My mother – always one to offer outside the box thinking – said “well you’ve always had to do things for yourself so you’ve forgotten how to ask for help”. What does that mean? Well, apparently it means stop being She-Ra (80’s child alert!!) and find a guy who enjoys being He-Man and doing all the hard work. According to mother that’s most of them.

But…doesn’t that go against feminism and the right to be equal? Batting my eyelashes at the next door neighbour to get him to cut my grass (yes I tried it) felt weird but it did work. I’ve never actually thought of myself as a feminist until this discussion and I’m still not actually sure if I am one. I’m curious though – did the bra burners of the 60’s or the Suffragettes (who I’ll be studying in a few weeks) have their public protests then go home and play ickle wickle girl to their patners to get them to put some shelves up??

I put this theory to my best friend yesterday and she seems to think it’s true. That the way to a man’s’ heart is not through the clichéd stomach but by letting him have free reign over the power tools…

This week then I’ve discovered some principles I didn’t realise I had and now have to look at this and see how I can work with it and use it towards sorting out my patchy love life. And I’m still not sure what actually makes a woman feminine? I think maybe I have a research project to work onJ